Close to “the end” you might experience going in and out of “it”. I know many who say that such a statement is ridiculous, because it’s not possible to go in and out of something which is the only thing that exists. I agree! However, in experience this is what it feels like. You might be perfectly existing effortlessly as your true selfless self-
- uh, wait a minute! What does this crap really mean? Fuck you and your selfless self-bullshit! I don’t wanna hear descriptive poetic, quazi-philosophical mumbo jumbo-bullshit!
All right, all right, I’m sorry! I’ve been equally brainwashed by the spiritual lingo. It’s not pretty, but it’s all I’ve got. Except for, of course, Existence Itself in every moment. <– See, this shit just sounds corny-ass-whack every freakin’ sentence, I’m sorry!
So, what can we do?
Okay, okay, have you ever tried to meditate?
Sure, yes, a lot.
Good, then I will assume you know when it’s, like, working, wouldn’t you say?
In the beginning it was hard, but now it’s like my second home.
Well, beautiful, then just make that your first home and you’ll be good.
I will?
No, you won’t, because you already are “good”. This is all a game of the good ol’ nothin’ playin’ at bein’ somethin’ lookin’ fo’ nothin’ until somethin’ finally remember it already is nothin’ and the game ends .. until it awakens yet again, somehow. Anyway, what I’m saying is that there is no such thing as a first and second home. This is ALL just your one and only ultimate Home of all homes – even if it happens to be dressed up in funny colors that constantly change and make all sorts of cute and scary noises.
Oh ..
But forget about all that, just make your second home your first home.
Uh, yes, I will. But this wasn’t really what we were talking about. You sound a little preachy, you know that?
Who, me? Hah, yeah, you know, whatever. Like, yes, u-hu, cool. It’s a personality; deal with it. I, however, just accept you unconditionally through it.
Wow, the preacher instantly transformed into Jesus himself.
Those are your words.
Okay, I was just playing. I’m sorry, Mr. Serious. So, who are you?
Bah, let’s not talk about that. We can’t talk about this. Let’s focus on getting you here.
I think you’re just avoiding the question.
Yes, I absolutely am! It’s an unanswerable question. The only answer lays in real experience.
So, who are you?
I am not a “who”. I am simply a living space; an existing nothing. This is fundamentally. Generally, I don’t know. One could say I am everything happening, but it would still imply there is someone related to something else. There is, however, nothing “else” out there. And there isn’t any “out there” out there. All space and all time is merely illusory based on experiencing a few different channels of information. These “channels” are what we call “our senses”, and are generally attributed to be belonging to the body as it is a sensing organ. However, this explanation is still within the experience. The living space is not constrained to the inside of any experience, as it is the very foundation of all experience. The whole idea of and belief in the “inside” of any experience to begin with is a completely illusory sense of reality created by the mesmerizing effect these channels of information have on the being experiencing it (the “being” = the living space as it experiences itself when having an experience). You’ve got five seemingly separate senses to get information about the world from. Let’s say you’ve got six senses, to include the “inner” world. Which means, the sixth sense is the entire “inner” world, because, as we will see, there is no “outer” nor “inner” world – these differentiations are still from within the experience.
If everything is, as you say, from “within” the experience, what is the experience?
Exactly! Very nice, that’s the point, right. What is the experience? And what about the experiencer of the experience? Is there a difference? Or is the experiencer only experiencing while experience is happening? Can there be an experiencer without an experience to be an experiencer of? What is what? Who are you? Where the hell are you? What is “you”?
Yeah, that’s The Big Ones.
Maybe, maybe not. However, they are fun questions to play with, but they can also get you entangled in a great big mess. Not that they have to, as long as you remember they are all appearing from-
-within the experience.
Hah, good, yes! You’re becoming a very nice little parakeet, aren’t you?
Yes, I believe I’m beginning to get a picture of it.
Good, but again, whatever you think you know is not it. It’s a lie. The “picture” you’re getting is a lie. It’s not it. It’s still inside the experience.
So, how to get outside of it?
That’s the good part, because you were never in it to begin with!
But fat lot of good that does me when I don’t know it ..
Yes, sure. So, forget everything you’ve learned about everything and look as if for the first time. Look at each of your senses, and where they appear. Can you feel what’s outside of your body? Don’t analyze or think about it, just let the mere idea of the questions lead your awareness in the directions the questions are pointing. Look at the tactile sense, the sounds, tastes, the field of vision. Really, really, really look. Look like nothing else exists outside of looking and what is being looked at. Don’t even include yourself in the looking. Die to what you’re looking at. No questions, no answers, nothing – you dead, but looking happening. Don’t think: “I’m dead, I’m not thinking.” That’s ridiculous. If you can think, your looking isn’t total enough. Let it completely devour you. Look at, as and with everyone and everything, without questions, without answers. Whatever arises inside or outside. Look, look and look.
There might come a time when it will be totally obvious to you that each of your sense perceptions is only empty information existing in an equally empty, yet living space. The entirety of what you thought was “you” is just information in space. Information changes. Space is space. Information is space. Know space know information. Believing in information is being lost in space. Understanding and utilizing information, without believing it to be real, is like manouvering a holographic space ship through a non-existing meteor-shower in empty space. Believing in information is like thinking you’re a human being on a planet called earth in a galaxy called the milkey way .. or whatever. I don’t really care about that anymore.
Information is all within the experience, of the experience, and about the experience. Information cannot step outside of itself. You must see through information and enter the deeper layer of yourself. The big BUT, however, is that you must see through your “self” in order to truly enter the deeper layer. Your “self” is constructed by bits of information, and getting through it means either deleting or completely un-believing all the information you’ve gathered throughout this life.
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